We deliver a tiny rubber dick to anyone’s door.
Discreetly, anonymously, anywhere. We don’t ask who you are. Your bank doesn’t need to know either.
Start a Request 🍆For the privacy conscious
Bitcoin is traceable. Your bank sees everything. Monero doesn’t work like that. Pay privately. Receive discreetly. Nobody needs to know.
For the chaotic
Send a tiny dick to a friend. Anonymously. Plain packaging, no sender info. They will never know it was you. Probably.
Bitcoin is traceable. Your bank can see everything you buy. We think that’s nobody’s business. That’s why this only accepts Monero — the only cryptocurrency built for privacy, not surveillance. We send tiny rubber dicks. You pay privately. Nobody needs to know.
Financial privacy is a human right. Also, dicks are funny.
Questions
Is this real?
Yes. It’s a real rubber mochi figurine shaped like a tiny penis. You will receive it in the mail. This is your life now.
Why only Monero?
Because Bitcoin is traceable. Governments love Bitcoin. Chainalysis loves Bitcoin. Banks love Bitcoin. Monero has none of those problems. Neither do your purchases.
How do I pay?
Fill out the request form. We review it and reply by email with a private Monero address made just for your order. You send the exact amount, we match the payment, ship it, and delete the order record.
Can I send this to someone else?
Absolutely. Just put their address in the request form. Plain packaging, no sender info. They’ll receive a mysterious envelope. You will never be caught. Probably.
Will my family know?
Only if you tell them. Plain packaging, no sender info, private payment. Your secret is safe. The dick is not.
Is this legal?
Yes. It’s a novelty toy. A tiny rubber figurine. Paid for with cryptocurrency. Completely legal. Surprisingly.
Can I pay with Bitcoin?
No. Have you not been reading? Go get some Monero and come back. We’ll wait. 🍆